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Dear True LoveDear true love,
I just wanted to write to you
And say that well well...i was touched
That you went to so much effort
To give me such "exquisite" gifts
But true love don't do it again
Your knowledge of me is quite poor
Every day of Christmas was hell
And I feared the bell at my door
A partridge, Swans, French hens and doves
I admit were lovely in song
But since I have Ornithophobia*
The choice of birds was wrong
Those five days of fowls at my door
Sent me screaming to a right royal mess
Here's a tip next time you spend cash;
What's wrong with a simple white dress?
I don't even like fruit
So what was with the pear?
(I couldn't even go near the tree
Since the darn bird was there)
The only thing you got right, boy
Was my love of golden rings
But my love turned sour, cheapskate!
When I found they're only toy rings!
I've never liked dancing
So when the ninth day came
Ladies tangoed into my house
Then forced me to do the same!
The other random folks you sent
Were just as bad a
Rudolph's ConfessionRudolph's Confession
Without trying to be boastful
I think I can safely admit
That out of all the reindeers here
That number one is where I sit
The whole wide world adores me
And remember my name quite well
But the world doesn't know my secret
so I guess now it's time to tell.
I came to the north pole workshop
A bright eyed (and nosed) newbie guy
Santa signed me up straight away
And promised me I'd be sky high
That year I led the foggy way
My red gleaming nose and I soared!
The taunting and teasing stopped dead
And I was now loved and adored
But the following year changed that
When I asked to fly lead again
Santa gave a shake of his head
And proceeded to explain
This is no foggy Christmas Eve
My sight's fine, I think you'd agree
Last year was only a once of
So Rudolph, stop badgering me!
Little did I know Mr. Claus
had stuck in a 'clause' of his own
The contract I signed years ago
Banned me from 'Perfect weather zones'
Clear skies I'm not allowed to fly
Only under fog and d
Class of 2009The Class of 2009 (Thank you, come again.)
You've got your claps
You've got your cheers
You've got signatures
And photos with peers
Now get the fuck out.
You heard me.
Yes it's all very sweet
To watch you all go
But we've now got to plan
The 2010 show
You're on your own now, kid
We wash our hands clean
Of bells and schoolbooks
And a daily routine
We've controlled how you think
For thirteen years
Our contract is now up
It's you who now steers
Oh come now, don't cry
I thought we planned this
We told you it was inevitable
That life's not all bliss
You'll hit speed humps
And not have us to aid
And while you lay there
You'll wish you would have stayed
So have fun out there
No reason to be afraid!
Thank you, come again
Thanks for having played!
Chinese WhispersChinese Whispers
Chinese Wisp errs
Chime ease puss puss
Try knees whiskers
Tai needs slippers
Tied his hip hurts
Writer's BlockI cant write for the life of me.
Theres just nothing coming up in
My mind for my creative side to see
And pick and choose a thing
To write so candidly about.
This blasted writers block
Throws me into doubt
Puts my mind in lock
And throws away the key.
Now as I sit in my chair
Staring at a blank white page
Giving a blank white stare
Right back at me...
I try so hard to place
Pen to paper and turn the sea
Into a river of words
But in my haste;
I end up frying my brain
With will power instead of contents
On my page. All I gain
Is a few scribbles... and all this nonsense
Is throwing me into a fit of rage
Of horrible red hot hate!
If only I could fill this page
oh hang on, wait
Is this the end?Rain is lowering through my soul
The earth is crumbling beneath my feet
My courage has taken it's toll
I am soon under the call of defeat
I feel as if I am slowly fading
All my strength has left me
All this suffering and pain is degrading
Makes me regret as I float towards the sea
Is this now the end
The conclusion of the last chapter
Unable to try to amend
Or turn and face my captor
No, I can't let it end now
I must cross this bridge
No matter what, I will not bow
In order to get to my fridge.
The youth and the one legged knightMany are the stories is told
by the hearth side on cold nights,
of the knights of this fine land
and their bravery and valiant fights.
But one such tale above the rest
will shock you to your core,
for one knight lost his leg one day
while hunting for a boar.
Now he was strong and he was feared
despite his peculiar condition,
And this confused one brash youth
who questioned the knights position.
So the youth came forth one fateful day
a challenge for to set
And he inquired of this one legged knight
why he'd not retired yet.
The knight did laugh, so deep and loud
at the simple inquisition.
Then he spake in a voice quite low
"I'll tell ye' if ye' listen"
And so the youth did thus agree
But the answer from the one legged knight
did anger and astound.
"You see, skill is not lost easily,
and I am still the best.
It seems that you doubt my ability.
Shall we put this to the test?"
Astounded by the proposition,
and feeling pity for the fool,
The youth said "It seems you'
Android-princess' dreamsI found this little alien —
Infused with thoughts ‘neath automation,
Though free of oughts of toyland nation…
Her wish is to be clothed in life
Of animation without strife,
Of painless sensitive traverse
With fellow humans of discourse,
With carbon units made to love
Appearance, function, purpose-glove…
— Silver Rajah of Sophiastan
A Day in the Life with PhysicsWhen I got up, I started to frown,
As gravity was really getting me down.
I needed some energy, which meant a Milk Chocolate Square,
And listened to a Rolling Stones album, which is gathering momentum, I’m aware.
I went to the library, for an electricity book,
And the attendant said I could have a look,
But Watt they had was not current,
But could shed some light on the subject.
Next, I had fission chips for lunch,
At “The Nuclear Café”.
“Don’t get too excited or you’ll get into a state”,
I heard someone say.
As I was walking along,
From a roof fell a cat.
It had lost its Mu,
From where it had sat.
Next stop, the club “Absolute Zero”,
Which was so very cool.
As a physicist, I do everything energetically,
So I may look like a fool.
A card saying “Problems with moles?”
Was given to me,
It said to call Avogadro
Mum was noisily using the hoover,
When I got home.
Strange, as sound
Can’t travel through
A silly rhyme of Tyroleans and beerTyroleans like beer
They drink it all the time.
So just for them
I write this little rhyme
They don't actually eat meals
it's just snacks to their beer.
That's actually all they drink,
every day of every year.
Why do they love it so much?
Well, they have awesome beer.
It tastes like liquid heaven,
therefore it quickly disappear.
Without any doubt,
they are the kings of beer.
So hail the Tyroleans,
grab a beer and cheer!
Utsukushii NekoBeautiful bodies of silky fawn fur,
When attention comes, they purr, purr, purr.
With masks of chocolate and bodies of cream,
It's almost like being in a purrfect dream.
Whether it's eyes of violet, or deep sea blue,
No matter what, they'll always charm you!
Underneath the slouching body,
Is a sly mind ready to pounce on a bee.
As unalert as they may seem,
When started, they can run like a lightning beam.
There are many other words for cat;
Marvelous, affectionate, lazy, fat,
But, in my eyes, they can only be seen
As calm, collected, serene beings.
When attention comes, they purr, purr, purr,
These intelligent beings with silky fawn fur!
An ode to NetspeakNetspeak (150 characters)
Im not one for netspeak
It really makes me sick
To throw aside our syntax
And make yourself look thick
Is all the space we need
For our hopes, our dreams, our aspirations!
(it costs more if we exceed)
Orwell thought this would happen
But called it newspeak (the quack!)
If he had have changed the w
Hed be more along our track
Say whatever you want
But dont keep it simple and plain!
Whats that you write? Brb?
Lol we do exclaim!
We feel the need to tell eachother
How we look when we have read
All our lols lmaos and rofls
We wouldnt want to have mislead
But dont think youll avoid it
It happens to the best
So start using those num63r5
nd gve ths vwls a rst
So heres to you, netspeak
You grammar ignoring fad
As far as idiom revolutions go
Youre the best weve ever had
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More