Without trying to be boastful
I think I can safely admit
That out of all the reindeers here
That number one is where I sit
The whole wide world adores me
And remember my name quite well
But the world doesn't know my secret
so I guess now it's time to tell.
I came to the north pole workshop
A bright eyed (and nosed) newbie guy
Santa signed me up straight away
And promised me I'd be sky high
That year I led the foggy way
My red gleaming nose and I soared!
The taunting and teasing stopped dead
And I was now loved and adored
But the following year changed that
When I asked to fly lead again
Santa gave a shake of his head
And proceeded to explain
This is no foggy Christmas Eve
My sight's fine, I think you'd agree
Last year was only a once of
So Rudolph, stop badgering me!
Little did I know Mr. Claus
had stuck in a 'clause' of his own
The contract I signed years ago
Banned me from 'Perfect weather zones'
Clear skies I'm not allowed to fly
Only under fog and downpour
But there's been no foggy Christmas
Since Nineteen hundred and four!
Every year dancer and prancer
And all the other arrogant sods
Jingle their bells and fly away
While I stay here with the elves
So don't bother looking upwards
For the sleigh and the man so fat
You won't see a red light shining
(My contract doesn't allow that)